At home with CCTV
Going into week two of lockdown with the boyfriend and things are getting desperate. The alarm might still go off at 7am, but we spend our days scrolling through our phones, the TV is on constantly, and he hasn’t got dressed in a week... we’re losing all motivation to do anything.
Both me and the boy workout often in the ‘normal world’, he’s a Pure Gym member, I’m a member of anything that gets me moving (boxing at Islington Boxing Club, a weekly amature basketball game, a Class Pass member, PT sessions...). We started this lockdown with such good intentions, we ran a 5k the first day, played an energetic game of tennis the second day, and spent day three shooting hoops. But by day four excuses started creeping in (“is it me, or is it hot in here? Do you think I’ve got the virus?”, “Babe, let’s have a rest day”, “Boris is going to announce self-employment help, let’s stay in to hear what he says...”). Cut to day 9 and neither of us have moved more than from the bed to the sofa and back again. We’re getting aggy at each other. Today I shouted at him for putting a mug back on the wrong hook. Something’s gotta give…
Enter CCTV.
No, it’s not the Government checking to see if you’re on your third ‘run’ of the day, but the new video channel from Core Collective. I’m not familiar with Core Collective, but when I was asked if I wanted to try their new at home videos during a time of lockdown, it was a ‘Hell Yes!’ from me.
Now, every gym in the country seems to be doing at home sessions via Zoom, or Youtube, or some other means of shouting at you through your computer to do 50 burpees... So what's the USP of CCTV?
On their website, they say:
CCTV is our series of on-demand workouts to stream anytime, anywhere. Falling under 6 categories (Sweat, Train, Strength, Pilates, Yoga, Extras), there is a workout for everyone! You’ll be coached by our incredible trainers, real-time and there are beginner and advanced modifications in every video.
Workouts vary in duration from 5 to 45 minutes - we recommend you mix and match them, to keep your at-home fitness routine varied and fun.
Pricing is £12.99 a month, that you can cancel anytime, and right now they are doing a 7 day free trial. Sign up is easy, and once you’re in, you can browse their workout videos... all 10 of them. There’s Sweat, which includes two 20 minute videos, one row
and one circuit. There’s Strength, which is just one 45 minute video, there’s Train, which has nothing on there, not one video. Then there’s Pilates (one video) and Yoga, which has four training videos of various lengths, and finally a section called Downloads, which are free videos to download and watch anywhere, and time... only problem is, they all include a rowing machine, or bike. Both of which, most people don’t have at home.
In fact, all videos include equipment that most people don’t have at home... You’ll need a rowing machine for some, dumbells for others, a full pilates studio and more space than I have in my small London flat.
After seeing that I can’t actually do any of the videos due to lack of equipment, I settled on the only video I could do; Power Yoga.
Scarlet, a gorgeous Yoga teacher with French Braids to DYE for (maybe I’ll try to learn how to do french braids while I'm stuck inside?) talks two equally gorgeous and toned girls though a 30 minute Yoga session that is described on the website as “A fast-flowing calming flow open to all levels”.
Once I was all set up in my small front room, Yoga matt and everything, I was ready to get my namaste on. Having done some Yoga and Pilates in my time, I figured it would be easy enough to get into, but challenging enough should I want to push myself.
Boy was I wrong.
This is advanced Yoga for people who know more than the downward dog. Scarlet used language I’ve never heard, with no explanation as to what they actually were... what’s vinyasa? And I’ve no idea if utkatasana is a yoga move or a dish I should be getting my boyfriend to begin slow cooking to be ready for after this session...
The teacher crashed through each move, not really explaining it, and never stopping to let the followers figure out what was going on before moving on to the next pose. By 17 minutes into the video I’d given up. But, not wanting to fall at the first hurdle, I tried the only other video I could do in my flat (a lot of the videos include jumping and running, which would just give my downstairs neighbor yet another reason to moan at me), the 15 minutes 'Stretch and Mobility’ with Emily. Described as ‘A perfect add-on for any workout to stretch and mobilise your body’, no equipment needed. Great!
Emily starts by introducing the viewer to the other two women in the video, all three of which have pilates blocks by their side, and as it turns out, these blocks are kinda a big part of each pose. I tried using a pillow as Emily suggested (“If you don’t have blocks, don't worry”), but the softness of it did nothing but make a nice bed for my cat when she wandered over to see what the fuck I was doing on the floor.
The ‘Stretch and Mobility’ s ession was good enough, but for £12.99 a month, I’d want a lot more than one 15 minute video that I could realistically do.
By the end of it all, I'd not learnt anything, my knees and wrists hurt more than they do after a 2 hour boxing session and I felt stupid for not being able to keep up with sessions that are meant to be ‘open to all levels’. This is not for beginners. And in fact, the whole CCTV channel seems to only be for people who have a lot of experience with Core Collective, and (more importantly), for people that have fully equipped gyms in their homes. Neither of which are me.
So for now, I’m back to my daily three and a half minute run to the shop once a day to buy Pringles and a bottle of wine to keep from killing my boyfriend when he puts the hand towels back where the bath towels go...